Headlines - Week 2 2007
Sharks VictoriousFinal Score: Big Brown Sharks 95, Old No. 7 80.47
New quarterback Tony Romo led the Sharks to another win, scoring 19.8 points and leaving the Sharks one of only 2 teams undefeated on the young season. LaMont Jordan also continued his resurgence, rushing for 159 yards on the day (15.9 pts). It was enough to overcome another off-day for stud running back Steven Jackson, who on the season has managed a meager 12.2 points.
"Yeah, I'm frustrated," Jackson said after the game. "But we're winning games, that's all that counts. I'll keep plugging away and will get over this hump."
The players in the Old No. 7 locker room were not noticeably upset after the loss, despite moving the franchise record to 6-22. "That's what we're good at," Julius Jones said. "Losing." Jones then called his travel agent to make vacation plans for early December.
At least one player hasn't given up yet on Old No. 7 owner Dustin, as Brian Westbrook led the team in tangibles (16.2 pts) and intangibles – heart, guts, and creaky knees.
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Champs ReboundFinal Score: Tiorted Snoil 101.67, Meins 82.07
Jamal Lewis put his teammates on his back and carried them to victory, to the tune of 216 yards and a touchdown (27.6 pts), overcoming the Meins and putting the defending champs in the winning column.
"I just put myself back in jail," Lewis said about how he prepared mentally for the game. "I imagined I was in the shower, holding the soap, and all those sweaty men were chasing me again."
Meanwhile, the Meins lost what was a winnable game. Quarterback David Garrard, signed earlier in the week to backup the injured Eli Manning, had a great first game for the Meins, adding 16.07 points. And Clinton Portis had another solid game, proving that last week was no fluke by adding 13.6 points.
But for the second week in a row, Deuce McAllister was a no-show, tallying 3.6 points. And the Meins other 2 free-agent adds for the week, Mason Crosby and Eric Johnson, were unspectacular, combining for 6.8 points.
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Pitbulls Devoured
Final Score: Midland Maulers 108.6, Vick's Pitbulls 63.83
The Midland Maulers came out hungry and went after Vick's Pitbulls like a Mississippi leg-hound to a bare leg, humping the Pitbulls into submission with a 45 point victory. QB Tom Brady and RB Marion Barber both tallied 21.5 points in the effort, leading all scorers in the game and powering the Maulers to their first victory of the season. The Maulers scored well on the day, despite a second consecutive sub-par performance by the team's primary RBs – Lawrence Maroney (7.7 pts) and Ronnie Brown (6.9 pts).
Meanwhile, LaDainian Tomlinson must be tiring of carrying the Pitbulls on his own, as he phoned in his performance, scoring a meager 5.8 points. QB Vince Young tried to make up the difference, having a solid game (16.43 points), but it was not enough to fill the vacuum.
The mood in the losing locker room was mutinous, and grumbling could be heard about Jerome's drafting skills, his taste in golf attire, and his preference for junk-holding, former Notre Dame quarterbacks.
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Necrophiliacs Surprise AgainFinal Score: BarbaroNecrophiliacs 105.77, hokay hoslap 78.4
(ghost-written by Badics) The BarbaroNecrophiliacs had their way with the lifeless corpse of Hokay Hoslap. Hokay’s corpse was lying dead on the examining table in the morgue, and the Necrophiliacs did unspeakable things to the lifeless bag of bonez and blood.
Randy Moss continued his outstanding play noting, “I play hard when I want, which just so happens to be now.” Jonny Kitna turned in another solid performance, pinballing through the secondary on numerous plays and getting his bell rung numerous times. New addition Dallas Clark contributed a solid performance with 12.9 points. And the cornerstone of the team, Mr. Frank Gore, continued his solid play with 20.5 points. Gore had a tough week as his mother passed away; you’d be happy to know that the Necrophiliacs did not attempt any funny business with her.
Hokay had a tough week but were lead by Kellen Winslow (16 pts). The other standout was Neil Rackers who hoslapped the netting behind the field goal to the tune of 13 big points. LJ had his second tough week turning in only 8.7 points.
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Chubby Squeaks Out Win
Final Score: Chubby's In 116.97, Craigulators 115.17
The game was going to end in a tie, but in true heart-breaking fashion, the Craigulators lose in the close-fought shoot-out.
"I accept full responsibility for the loss," quarterback Matt Hasselbeck said. Hasselbeck was sacked on the game's final play, resulting in a loss of 18 yards and breaking the tie. The loss overshadowed the stellar play of certain Craigulator's players, namely Chad Johnson (32.9 pts), Terrell Owens (16.2 pts), and Willis McGahee (16.3 pts).
Meanwhile, Chubby's In got 74% of their production from three players – Carson Palmer (401 yds, 6 TDs, 2 INTs – 38.37 pts), Steve Smith (153 yds, 3 TDs – 33.3 pts), and Joseph Addai (81 yds, 1 TD – 14.7 pts). Addai looked stellar for the second consecutive week, and Palmer had a career day as Chubby's In remained undefeated.
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Nuts Swing into ActionFinal Score: Dez Nuts 110.77, Bad Ideaz Kennels 108.1
Edgerrin James continued his resurgence, rushing for 128 yds and a TD (21 pts), and Willie Parker had his first big game of the year (126 yds, TD – 19.3 pts) to carry Dez Nuts to their first win on the season. Rookie WR Calvin "Megatron" Johnson had another solid game (12.8 pts), leading the team's WR in production. Is there more than meets the eye to Johnson? DNA tests are inconclusive.
Despite spectacular play by his WR – Andre Johnson (24 pts) and TJ Houshmandzadeh (18.9 pts) and an all-around solid effort by the team, Bad Ideaz lost their first game, dropping to 1-1.
"You gotta take it for what it is, a loss," Ideaz's QB Peyton Manning philosophized. "We played a good game, have some things to work on in practice this week, but the Nuts were a little bit better this week. Tip the hat to them."
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